The Weight of Loneliness..!

You’re on your boat drifting through the ocean
that is your mind, and then one day you slip
on a splash of water, plunging down under.
You’re underwater now, and it’s silent.
The sun had been blinding you, so at least now
it’s silent and calm, and it’s just so peaceful
that you decide to stay there. 
You’re drifting as you were on the surface,
but now all’s in a tinted blue haze.
You’re still here because this bit
of quiet is a welcome reprieve from that sunburn
you got back on the boat.
Then you realize that it isn’t completely silent. 
There’s this white noise, a hum in your ears along
with a bit of pressure– but that’s okay for now, because
you’re in your very own ocean of solitude. 
But then that humming grows louder,
or at least now it’s harder to ignore. 
There’s this pressure on all sides of you,
and now it’s getting cold despite the heat growing
in your chest. 
You stay here, frozen and suddenly wary of going up
to the surface. 
While you’re having these thoughts
and then suddenly questioning whether there ever
was a surface (because you’ve only
ever been underwater, right?) and before you know it,
your ears are pounding from the hum
which now sounds like a jackhammer and the pressure
that is growing tighter and that heat is also becoming a fire
in your chest, and you realize that you haven’t been breathing
this whole time and you want to surface
but you’re suddenly stuck beneath the boat
and are running out of air and are in this underwater prison
and you’re pounding at the bottom of your boat trying
to come up from air and silence the noise
and get some reprieve from this pressure
but you’re just freezing and then you’re too numb
to do anything else but just stare up at the boat not seeing
any flickers of the sunlight shining through just a few inches
to your left because by now this ocean is just a prison
and there’s nothing else to do.