Brave Thing..!

She says it’s a brave thing, being loved by you.
I don’t ask why. I kiss her on her head
for her courage.
I gold-star her abdomen with my mouth.
I leave one hand inside her.
Some days, she gets solemn.
Some days, she turns the radio off
in the kitchen just as I’m getting into a rhythm
making omelettes.
Some days, she opens and closes the fridge
in an attempt to discover where the light goes.
She’s right. It’s a brave thing being loved by me,
but then it’s a brave thing being loved at all.
Where do we find the nerve?
We say all right, I like you, so I put my happiness
in your hands.
We say your smile tickles me so let’s spend
forever going to bed mad at one another.
Okay, so it isn’t always like that.
Some people know better. Some people.
But not you and I.
You and I both keep drunk-driving
into new relationships.
Keep licking the envelope of someone’s mouth.
Keep filling the void in our ribcage
with whatever we can find.
You and I weren’t born smart.
We were born screaming. I know,
I know – aren’t we all?
Well, sure, but for most of us, it’s audible.
Anyway, back to what’s important:

Sorry, I lost my train of thought.
I plumbed the depths and came up
with nothing.
Maybe your thighs.
Maybe I want to get lost between them.
But it isn’t all sexual, I promise.
Some of it is, but most of it is just – I want
to be close to you.
Forget waking up next to you.
I want to wake up inside you.
I’ll kiss you morning breath and all.
I’ll start every day ironing the tension out
of your body. Doesn’t that sound nice?
How domestic.
And I’ve never been that kind of woman.
Man. I don’t know really. I’ve never been
that person, wanting only to serve another,
but god, I want to bring you breakfast in bed.
God, I want to bring you to orgasm.
It’s all the same to me.

Yes, there are times I’m going to hurt you
with silence.
Yes, there are times I’m going to hurt you
with words. I know what you mean.
It’s a brave thing, being loved by me.

But it’s an honour,
that you think I’m worth the risk.