Silence..!

She asks me,
“Are you okay?”
I say, “yes”. 

We both know I’m lying.  

She’s quiet, but then she holds
me a little tighter, a little closer
to his chest.  

‘I’m sad that you’re leaving,’
I want to say.
But I have no right to tell her that.
I haven’t even the tiniest,
most infinitesimal part
in his life.  

‘I wish we had more time,’
the words are on the tip
of my tongue.
And there they stay.  

‘I know we were temporary
but that doesn’t make
this any easier.“
I am ready to burst with all
of the words inside me.  

In our silence,
I feel his arms relax around me,
I feel her start to drift.  

'Please, let’s still talk,
I whisper into his chest,
please don’t let it be as
if we never knew each other. 

She’s asleep. 

“I know we said no feelings,”
I say, out loud this time.
And then, after a pause,
“but that has never been
how feelings work.”