I'm still working on that one..!

I have never been very big on compliments.
I never quite learned how to take them,
in part because I always thought
that if you accepted a compliment,
people would think you were conceited
— and surprise, surprise: they do —
and in part because it took a long time
for me to believe these things.
When people complimented
how good I was at school,
I shrugged it off because it was never
like I tried. (That’s not a humblebrag,
I promise.) When they told me I was funny,
I balked. And when they said I was pretty,
I… well, I’m still working on that one.

Sure, there are deeper things in this world
to think about.
There is atrocious poverty and war
and people are constantly fighting
for equal rights. But to capitalize
on these things for what?
The likes? For people to think
that we’re aware of what is going on
in the world and that somehow makes us
better than the people who aren’t posting
about it?
If all you’re doing is joining in on the social
trend du jour,
and you’re not actually doing anything
to change the world for the better,
is that really less surface than
an iPhone photo of somebody’s eyebrows?

You deserve that. Really.

And so I don’t think I’ll ever get “good”
at accepting compliments online.
I hate it when men try to slide into DMs
or try to hit on me, because that’s not
what I’m here for.
That’s not the space I’m trying to occupy,
and to be frank, that detracts from the message
that you can be here for yourself.
Not for anyone else to think you’re pretty,
but for you to think that you are pretty,
and not to need validation from anyone else.

Learning to say thank you wouldn’t hurt,
of course. But the next time you catch yourself
judging someone’s 5th selfie in a week,
ask yourself when was the last time
you complimented yourself.
And then do it. Revel in yourself.
Because you should. Because there’s nothing
wrong in that.

And if someone has an issue with it,
it’s just too bad that they’re too blind-sighted
to revel in how awesome you are with you, too.